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"Most of my pain comes from the nightmares I have about my baby screaming in pain and crying for me. I'm 17 years old and I cry myself to sleep every night."1

Counseling and Help

"I cried everynight because I knew I was never going to see my baby, and that I chose to kill my own flesh and blood. I live with this burden everyday of my life."--Blanca2
"The abortion that I have had has caused me to shut out all emotional contact with both men and women. I feel like I have done the worst kind of evil in this world -- murder."--Patricia3
"I went through with the abortion and now I ... cannot forgive myself for what I have done. I wish I just died with that child."
--Rebecca, 184

"I feel unholy, guilty and selfish. I feel I have failed the Lord and my upbringing. I still can't believe I could have done what I did."--Gerry6
"The consequences to what I've done are great. I wonder about the children I lost to "choice." But comforting me through it all is the awesome knowledge that Jesus blood fully paid for my debt and that He loves me completely."--Diane Meyer7
"For years afterward I felt so much pain. I tried to protect myself with marijuana. I tried going to church. I felt worthless and lower than scum. Like I didn't deserve the children I had or any I would have.... My life was headed in a downward spiral.... I am still dealing with fringes of my experience, but this time, I've got Jesus. I am free today, because Jesus changes everything."8
"I feel emptiness that will never go away."5

Abortion Recovery: Finding Forgiveness, Healing, and Hope

Do you have recurring nightmares? Do you cry yourself to sleep at night? Are you suffering depression? Do you have suicidal thoughts? Maybe you just feel guilt that won't go away. Every time you see a baby, do you think about the baby you don't have? Are you sleeping around more? Do you drown your guilt by drinking or doing drugs? These are all symptoms that many women report after an abortion, often for many years. Healing will not come overnight, but you can find forgiveness and begin the journey of healing.


Accepting Responsibility

Many women know that abortion ends the lives of their babies. Others aren't sure and don't want to know. A few actually believe that their baby is just an unfeeling piece of tissue that will become a living human being later on. Did you know or suspect the truth, or were you one of the few who had no idea that your abortion would end the life of your baby?

Did you choose to have the abortion? Were you pressured into it by your boyfriend, parents, husband, or friends? Were you forced to have the abortion against your will? If you were tricked or forced into having an abortion, you are also a victim.

The first step to recovery is to admit the truth about what happened. Living in denial doesn't help. Be honest with yourself. What happened in your abortion was murder. The abortionist killed your baby. He or she knew what was happening and did it on purpose.

If you knew or suspected the truth about abortion and chose to do it anyway, you are also responsible for your baby's murder. Accepting and admitting your responsibility is the first step to forgiveness.

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Forgiveness

Obviously your baby cannot forgive you, but the Bible says that your abortion is not just a crime against your baby. It is also a sin against God (Exodus 20:13). (Read more about abortion's spiritual consequences.) It breaks God's rules for people to live by. You are not alone. In fact, the Bible says that everyone has sinned against God (Romans 3:23). It says that we all deserve death and punishment in a place of unending pain and torment (Romans 6:23; Revelation 21:8). For God to be fair, he can't just let us off the hook. He has to punish evil.

The good news is that God loves us so much that Jesus came to earth to pay the price for us. We deserved death, but He died in our place so that we could be saved from God's punishment (John 3:16; Romans 5:8). Because Jesus paid our penalty, God is willing to accept His payment and forgive us for our sins (Ephesians 1:7; Colossians 1:14; I John 1:9).

It gets even better. When Jesus died, he didn't stay dead. He defeated death and came back out of the tomb after three days and taught His followers for several more weeks before going back up into heaven (Luke 24; I Timothy 3:16). Because He defeated death, He gives unending life with Him in heaven after we die to everyone who receives God's forgiveness (I Corinthians 15:22).

So what do we have to do for God to forgive us for the sin of abortion and for all of our other sins?

  1. Admit to yourself and to God that you have done wrong.(Psalm 51:3; I John 1:9)
  2. Repent from your sins (Ezekiel 18:30-32; Luke 5:32; 24:27; Acts 26:20; II Corinthians 7:10). This means to give them up. Stop commiting them. Turn away from them. It involves a change of mind. You are now sorry for your sins. You have agreed with God that your sins are evil. Now you decide to stop doing them.
  3. Trust Jesus to save you from your sins and from unending punishment. (Acts 16:31)

You can talk directly to God when you pray. Admit to Him that you have sinned. Tell Him you are sorry, and you are giving up your sins. Ask Him to forgive you because Jesus gave His life for you.

Learn more about what it means to repent from the sin of abortion.

Even though your baby is not alive to forgive you, the God against whom you have sinned can forgive you.

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Healing and Hope

The emotional pain of your abortion may never completely disappear, but whenever the feelings of guilt return, remind yourself that God has forgiven you, and accept His forgiveness. Remember that your abortion is behind you, and that you have become a new person (II Corinthians 5:17). The path of healing is mostly a spiritual journey, so you will need spiritual help. Regular participation in a local church can provide needed support. Spend time daily reading the Bible and praying to find the encouragement you need and to become mature in your faith and in obedience to God.

Many women also find support in a post-abortion support group. You can contact your local pregnancy center for a referral to a support group in your area.

As you realize that your abortion is behind you, that you have been forgiven, and that God is changing you into a better person, you can find hope for a bright future ahead of you. Helping others avoid your mistakes will allow you to give hope to others, and it may help you heal emotionally. You can start by sharing your story with the women at Stand Up Girl.

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Help and Support

This page can get you started on the road to healing, but you will need help and support along your journey.

Call or visit your local pregnancy center to find an abortion recovery Bible study or support group in your area.

The Option Line lets you search for post-abortion counseling and support in your area.

Rachel's Vineyard offers abortion recovery retreats and resources.

The Abortion Recovery International Network (ARIN) maintains a growing world-wide collaboration of Biblically-based abortion recovery organizations.

The Silent No More Awareness Campaign lets you tell your story and read the stories of hundreds of other women and men who have been scarred by abortion, and many of whom have found God's forgiveness and peace.

Some churches also offer counseling and support groups for women who have experienced abortion.

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Let Me Live exists to save babies by showing the value and beauty of human life to mothers who are considering abortion.
Copyright 2006-2014 Let Me Live.

Nothing in this website is intended to constitute medical advice. Always do your own research and consult with your doctor.

This site developed with assistance from Black Locust Software, Providing Technology Solutions for Business.

Sources:
1. Quote from wprc.org | westside pregnancy resource center | Women talk about past abortions. (http://www.wprc.org/22.71.0.0.1.0.phtml) Accessed April 1, 2006.
2. Quote from He wouldn't help me - Stand Up Girl. Accessed May 25, 2006.
3. Quote from Rachels Vineyard: How Abortion Affected Me. Accessed May 25, 2006.
4. Quote from wprc.org | westside pregnancy resource center | Women talk about past abortions. (http://www.wprc.org/22.71.0.0.1.0.phtml) Accessed April 1, 2006.
5. Quote from wprc.org | westside pregnancy resource center | Women talk about past abortions. (http://www.wprc.org/22.71.0.0.1.0.phtml) Accessed April 1, 2006.
6. Quote from Rachels Vineyard: How Abortion Affected Me. Accessed May 25, 2006.
7. Quote from What they didn't tell me about abortion-and how God changed my life. Accessed October 2, 2006.
8. "Jesus Changes Everything" testimony from Silent No More. Accessed August 8, 2007.